Run up to the alter!

Well, I celebrated my birthday a few days back and 't was quite a wonderful one with friends and colleagues making it truly unforgettable! And there were a lot of things which happened that day but one thing which really was unforgettable , was the naughty message on my birthday cake written by my flat-mates Tushar and Pranav.
It read
"Happy Bday Anky,
26 and Single"
LOL!!!!!
And Pranav, with his cutting sense of humor, further went on to wish me saying
"Happy Birthday dude.
It is a very momentous day for you, njoi it to the core,
u have moved from your 'fun early-20s' to the 'stormy late-20s' "

and the thought just stuck on to me.

Stormy, they are goin' to be...

So much happens in the late 20s...u get married, start 'saving'(what's that?), mebbe have kids, focus on career,....Just so much happens indeed!

So, this post focusses on the first late-20s 'storm' to come in my life->"MARRIAGE"!!

Just as I had passed out of NITIE (in Jan 07) and was about to join my job, my aunt made the legendary statement which scares the shit out of every bachelor when he hears it the first time -
"You are well-settled now. It's time you got married!!!!"

And now the statement was ringing back in my ears.

(what follows is purely a work of fiction, any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely incidental, although I am sure that most of us would relate completely with what follows)

Just a year back when a cousin was committed and crazily in love, her mom, worried by his crazy ways, had voiced her concerns to her brother, m y dad.
My dad, who always has a very witty style of putting things, plainly told his sister
"Don't worry honey,
Love is a temporary insanity curable only by marriage,
get them married"

And so my cousin got married with all fan fare and I, the best man at the ceremony was in the thick of that crazy little process with all its exitement and nervous moments, that it left me wondering, why is marriage so important?

But, now a year later, I saw myself call up my dad to tell him that I am thinking about marriage and need his advice on the same. I wanted to know if marriage was really that important and my dad in his usual style made it so clear to me -
"If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with complete strangers!!"
So with the importance of marriage so firmly impressed on my mind, I now wanted to know how should I best proceed with the entire process and he quipped "Son, the secret of getting married and being happy during it is to Keep your eyes open before marriage and Half-shut after it"

Just a little shaken by the tremendous message he had so plainly delivered, I went on to ask him what should I look for in a potential spouse and if my parents have any constraints on the kind of spouse I should select.
Now, as lucky as I am, my parents are a liberal lot and really have no caste/religion/language barriers to my choice of spouse (although I should admit that being from India and thankfully so, bride from opposite sex was a precondition ;) )
But there was one little piece of advice which my dad gave me which I admire it for the way it was delivered. He said -
"Marrying is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house"
Truly so, I thought!
I was getting interested now abt this whole marriage thing, although going by the way my interests were swinging- be it games, hobbies, GFs or JOBS, I was not sure if this interest was gonna last. Lol!! ;)
But, nevertheless, I further enquired how to know if the lady I was meeting would be the right choice for me in the long term and he again had a very practical solution to this very tricky problem. He said that although it has always been a gamble, u can still improve the odds by doing a little bit of R&D. "Check out how the girl's mom looks like now and how your potential ma-in-law carries herself. Like mother, like daughter and you can also know if the shine on the cup u plan to win is gonna last or not!!"
Brilliant I should say and I would rather believe this, knowing that my nanny, even at the age of 84, has enviable beauty and my mom too has kept the unspoken promise she made, when my dad first saw her. ;)

Now, armed with some basic inputs on how to open the innings, I set out to discuss the issue with someone my own age, a college friend who, as I later realized, was not in the same life stage. He was truly taken aback by the mention of that word "marriage" and his countenance changed contour to an expression of disgust. He made me really think so hard with a solid logic, very typical of us engineers, that it really shook me.
He blasted me saying -
"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many women
for the criticism of one,
go ahead, get married!"

He further went on to emphasise his point saying -
"That a married couple was able to live together happily, day after day, is a miracle even the Vatican has overlooked"
And even while I was understandably shaken by the strong words of my friend, another friend, who had recently got an early divorce to a failed marriage, tried in vain, to help me saying that I need not worry so much about it bcos, in any case, Marriage is like wine, it is not properly judged until the second glass and not fully appreciated until the third!!!

This was it...I knew now why marriage draws so much attention and importance in life. Its because Marriage is like an adventure, its like goin on war, a war u eventually have to wage for eternal peace or so they would have you believe!!!

Do put in the comments, if u have liked this post and also my style of writing :)

- Anky

I still don't have a TV set and the culprits are the stupid advertisers!!

(A long one, but should be a mouthful I hope)
A cocktail of cricket, acting, IT and management...
---------------------------------------------
When I curse the advertisers for my not having a TV, I am not talking abt any abhorrence of the umpteen commercial breaks which riddle my favorite TV shows. In fact, given the lack of originality in current Indian television,it makes these commercials very inviting.

They are like the "20-20s" of TV, short and packed with humor, action and originality. The "Tests" of Indian television, its the Saas-bahu sagas of course, which i am referring to, have quickly started losing clout and so have the "one-dayers", the so called sit-coms, which are dying for lack of differentiation! (my tribute to Philip Kotler :) )

So, I see commercials picking up big time with channels which would only air commercials, mebbe even have an "on demand" advertisements model!! So, u are missing your girl and ur cell phones discharged, the famous "Hutch" ad with the cute boy and puppy might help your emotions.

But before i deviate from the theme of this article to the uncanny possibilities which consumerism presents, let me get back to my original thought (some thoughts are original after all, unlike my previous post ;) )

So, here we go...

It was the run-up to the "cricket world cup 2007", an event, which thousands of "suited illusionists" were keenly awaiting. Ya i am talking abt the marketers and advertisers, the best in the breed, putting their sassy brains together, each one getting ready for his "pinch-hitter" role!

So, "the band of blue boys" are barraged with a host of photo-ops!

The budgets are blocked, the plans all laid out, our legendary stars put on their "acting gear" and take their stance in the adman's pitch and play the innings showing the "full face" (literally) with the flourish of a veteran (the veterans here refers to the Shahrukhs and Amitabhs and if even the thought of cricketing veterans like the Kapils and Gavaskars had crossed your mind, snap out, u are having a dream!!)

So, here a "lick" (Sachin's britannia ad), there a click!!

and the blue billion begins the cricketing anthem -

"Sehwag ki maa ko bulao,
Sachin ko Pepsi pilao,
Ganguly ko Chawanprash khilao,
Dhoni ke baalo mein Gel lagao,
Dravid ko castrol pilao
KAISE BHI INDIA KO JITAO!!"

And while the "blue billion" raises a billion hopes,
billions are paid out in contracts to our star "actors",
ofcourse the seniors like Sachin, Dravid and
the comeback star Ganguly would make the most of it.

In purely financial jargon, I have always felt that the ROI of actors above 40 is the greatest considering they get to act, dance and do more with 20 something - soon to lose their innocence - starlets and I can't help get the same feeling about our cricketing seniors. Playing probably their last world cup, their ROI seems to be the best from this world cup before they retire as expert commentators.

Ok, so the bets are made and these advertising bets run into crores.
From what i read,the combined commercial contracts signed by the big 3 sum up to about 250 crores worth of ad spend.
So, why blame the bookies, the real bets are out there on TV!!!!

So the ad curators have watered the consumer's pitch,
now its time to sit back and watch the show.
But "show" it wasn't going to be!! Khel khatam, paisa hazzam!!
The odds went against our seasoned betters this time,
the movie was a super flop!!

And so the blame game begins! The coach is under fire, questions abt senior cricketers' attitudes are raised, selectors are taken to task and even the BCCI is blamed
but u forget the most obvious culprit, who I believe is responsible for this debacle...

Its the "The ever-so-ready-to-woo marketer"
and not bcos he turned our cricketers into actors!!

I believe it as natural evolution and u can't blame the GOD for it..
But rather I blame the marketer for his unprofessionalism,
for not putting in place the basic management system for this business of cricket.
Cricket is a business after all, so run it like one!

Have a performance management system in place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dhoni scores a ton, confirm him a 10% payment of his contract money...
Bhajji takes a couple of match winning wickets, promise him a 15% of his contract money
Dravid leads India to the next stage of the world cup, offer him 30% of his contract money
Team India reaches the final, they deserve 80% of their fees..
They win the world cup, they get the entire contract money with a 50% bonus..
They can't get past the opening stage, kick their ass, give them a miserly 20% of their contract amount....
A very simplistic way of putting things but nevertheless conveys the idea.
I am talking about SLAs or "Service Level Agreements", a way of life in IT.
here speaks the IT engineer in me, nudging the manager in me aside)

Buddy, its the stupid advertisers to blame. I
ts the same stupid mistake a naive girl in love,
makes by losing her virginity to her lascivious boyfriend,
just to keep him happy and lets it happen again and again,
till she realises, he is never really gonna marry her.

Man, u let the dog have his bone even before he learnt to bark !!!
(don't blame me for this, this was inspired by Sidhu)

U were bound to be doomed! And doomed u were, the crores were promised before even the first ball was bowled, so why expect them to perform, performance or no performance, they got the money neways right!!
Mebbe u would argue that it would bring down the overall brand value of the cricketer who would loose out in the long run, but when u don't give the sting immediately, no one will pull up your strings, "baad ka baadmein dekhenge, abhi aish karte hain!!" sums up the attitude...

So, I had promised myself a biggie 54 inch HDTV if India reaches the last 8 in the world cup,

but the stupid advertisers goofed up!!

and I, in the game, lost my TV!!!

Insatiable quotes: A cranky quote on life!

"The Most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
I mean, life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......


and you finish off as an orgasm.”

Rise of the Insatiable Spirit...

Well it finally descended upon me!

This ain't gonna help...
Not the moon lit night camping at the banks of Ganges!
Not the 2 days of muscle-tearing, heart-stopping, nerve wrecking "White Water Rafting" at Rishikesh
Not even the 15 metres of butt-wrecking high cliff jumping. (ya, u read it right, try it to experience it)
Not the weekend tours to the malls in a city with a mall density of more than 10 per sq. km)
And surely not the "2 movies a week" frenzy since we landed in the city of malls (and probably nothing more)

These wouldn't take me too far...

And then these words from Linkin Park's master-piece "In the End" had a different meaning to me...

..................................................................................................................

All I know

Time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down to the end of the day

The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal

Didn't look out below

Watch the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on, but didn't even know

Wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter"

........................................................................................................

And indeed,

even these extreme indulgences didn't matter

to

"This SINGLE GUY

With a gr8 9 to 6 job

With Office @ 5 min from home

With 2 day weekends

in Gurgaon

(and wait for it)

Without a TV set!

............................................................................................

Bcos Time does speak

And when it does, never does it stop,

Worse, I was a compulsive listener,

An audience without an option

A spirit shackled in the ravines of time!

Oh, cut the crap!

I just needed to pass time

I needed to break free

And so I took the path

A mortal on his way to achieve immortality!

Immortality in Spirit and Words!!

I decided to BLOG!!!

and then,

the Insatiable Spirit took over!!